I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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