no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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