we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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