In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
