the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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