So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
