What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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