why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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