whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Randomize
