I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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