So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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