they need to just BURY HIM!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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