Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
