but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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