fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
