is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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