Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
