Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
