i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
