He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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