it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
