no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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