Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Can you bring me the toilet please
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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