you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
