You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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