He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
