I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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