HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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