it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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