and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
