dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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