You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
