I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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