You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
