You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My vagina just recognized that song.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
