Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize