We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
