also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
