It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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