i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
