why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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