the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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