I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
