You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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