PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
