Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
