I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
