yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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