omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize