We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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