problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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