we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
