so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
