Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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