omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
