so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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