You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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