So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
