remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
